Get your own comment graphics @ ohmyspace.com
ZWANI.com - The place for myspace comments, glitters, graphics, backgrounds and codes

Wednesday, December 24, 2008

Shirtless Obama......






Note that Obama is not the first President to be photographed without a shirt on. Others were Ford, Clinton, and Reagan. Obama thought seems to be in the best shape of the 3, but also is the youngest at the time.

Pakistan...a failed Nation



Of all the major countries of the world it is only Pakistan that appears to be faced with insurmountable problems. Although put together as the predominately Muslim regions of British India it did not have ethnic-cultural coherence in addition to religious coherence. The northern and northwestern portion of Pakistan is Pushtun and closer ethnically to southern Afghanistan than to the west Punjab region or the Sindh region. There have been major mistakes in policy starting from the very beginning with the formation of the country with two wings separated by 1600 miles of Indian territory and incompatible linguistic and cultural differences. The blighted policy choices continued with an early adoption of socialism as the political economic goal for Pakistan. The history of Pakistan has seen re-occurrent military takeovers of the government, making Pakistan a highly unstable country.
Pakistan is unfortunately, not a country with an army; it is an army with a country.
On November 3, 2007 Pakistani dictator Pervez Musharraf declared a state emergency across Pakistan, imposed martial law, and suspended that nation's Constitution. In the capital of Islamabad, soldiers forcibly entered the Supreme Court, surrounded judges' homes, put opposition leaders under house arrest, and began rounding up thousands of peaceful political activists and politicians. On Monday, November 5th, thousands of lawyers took to the streets to protest the illegal imposition of martial law in their country. Musharraf's response was to have hundreds of these peaceful lawyers violently dragged through the streets and arrested. In the last two days alone, an estimated minimum of 3,500 people have been forcibly incarcerated as political prisoners.

For those Pakistan watchers who are familiar with the tragic history of this artificially created state, this latest crackdown on democracy and freedom by a governing Islamist elite that has imposed dictatorship on its citizens for most of its 60 years of existence, comes as no surprise.

Originally constituting the western provinces of India, Pakistan's artificial establishment came about on August 14, 1947 as an Islamic bulwark against what the British feared would be an eventually powerful and prosperous Hindu India that could in the future possibly rival its own colonial interests. Previous to 1947, there was never an historical political entity known as "Pakistan" (indeed, the very term "Pakistan" itself was coined from an acronym of Punjab, Afghania, Kashmir, Sindh, and Baluchistan). In the last 60 years, Pakistan has instigated three major wars and one minor war against its democratic neighbor of India. Pakistan is a country that has been riddled since its manufacture with a unsettling history of perennial dictatorships, martial law, political and religious repression, persecution of minorities, horrendous ethnic strife, state-sponsored terrorism, and an irreparably failed economy deceptively propped up by the infusion of multi-billions of U.S. tax- payers' dollars.

To the tremendous bewilderment of many, the Bush administration has insisted upon making Pakistan a key ally in the war on terror despite the fact that Pakistan has always been itself one of the most insidiously unremitting state sponsors of terrorism in the world. It was the infamous ISI secret intelligence agency of Pakistan that founded and supported the Taliban in its initial take over of Afghanistan and in its ruthless reign until its final overthrow at the hands of the U.S. military. Pakistan has harbored Osama bin Laden and his al-Qaeda minions in its northwestern frontier territory for the last five years, and refuses to allow U.S. military personnel into the area to capture him. Pakistan has waged a proxy terrorist war against the Hindu civilian population of Kashmir for decades, making hundreds of thousands of Kashmiri Hindus refugees in their own country and devastating a region of India that at one time was one of the most beautiful and peaceful places on earth. By the sheer weight of the sum total of its destructive terrorist actions over the years, Pakistan has brazenly shown the world that it not only deserves to be placed squarely within the so-called Axis of Evil formulated by President Bush in 2002 – but that it belongs in the prime spot of prominence in that notorious list!

By every measure of what constitutes a successful nation-state, Pakistan has shown the world since its inception that it is incapable of meeting even the minimal standards of surviving as a viable unified political-social entity.

Pakistan is an artificial political construct in which several diverse and historically rival ethnic groups were arbitrarily forced together into what was supposed to become an Islamic melting pot. Rather, Pakistan has been faced with calls for independence by many of these various ethnic groups, which has in turn led to decades of brutal oppression by the central authorities against ethnic activists. Like Yugoslavia in the 1990s, Pakistan is destined to be
rent asunder by these contrasting ethnic interests in the very near future. Pakistan's 165 million long-suffering people would be significantly better off if this natural process of political devolution were allowed to occur.

Rather than continuing to support the notion of an impossible to salvage central state, Pakistan should be allowed to naturally devolve into the several smaller states historically comprising the territorial demarcations of its multiple ethnic divisions. Rather than a failed Pakistani state, there should be four independent states of Balochistan, Afghania (the present "North-West Frontier Province" that constitutes the traditional home of the Pashtun
people), Punjab, and Sindh, with "Azad" Kashmir reverting back to India.

Nothing less than the naturally occuring disintegration of the present-day Pakistan will ensure the political stability of the region, the assurance of the human and civil rights of the people of Pakistan, and the irradication of the world's most unstable and dangerous terrorist state. The latest crippling blow to democracy in a long history of such blows must be enough to starkly persuade us that it is time to move on from the failed "Pakistan" experiment.
An interesting change in the Failed States Index (published by The Fund for Peace) is #9 Pakistan. Pakistan was at #13 in 2007, from a quick analysis of the index it is clear that a huge economic downturn is the main reason for Pakistan’s move to a premier position amongst the Top 10 failed states. There are no surprises in the top 10 for 2008 as they are the usual suspects…as a matter of fact the top 10 have remained pretty much the same since 2006…Haiti left the Top 10 in 2007 and Guinea got pushed out simply because of Pakistan’s horrible year.
Here’s the Top 10 (No surprises here!):
1. Somalia
2. Sudan
3. Zimbabwe
4. Chad
5. Iraq
6. D.R. Congo
7. Afghanistan
8. Cote d’Ivoire
9. Pakistan
10. Central African Republic

By the way…give it up for Scandinavia because Sweden, Finland, and Norway are the bottom three nations on the index, making them the ‘least failing’ nations in the world.
These are the twelve indicators The Fund for Peace uses to rank nations into the Failed States Index:
Social Indicators
• I-1. Mounting Demographic Pressures
• I-2. Massive Movement of Refugees or Internally Displaced Persons creating Complex Humanitarian Emergencies
• I-3. Legacy of Vengeance-Seeking Group Grievance or Group Paranoia
• I-4. Chronic and Sustained Human Flight
Economic Indicators
• I-5. Uneven Economic Development along Group Lines
• I-6. Sharp and/or Severe Economic Decline
Political Indicators
• I-7. Criminalization and/or Delegitimization of the State
• I-8. Progressive Deterioration of Public Services
• I-9. Suspension or Arbitrary Application of the Rule of Law and Widespread
Violation of Human Rights
• I-10. Security Apparatus Operates as a “State Within a State”
• I-11. Rise of Factionalized Elites
• I-12. Intervention of Other States or External Political Actors

Friday, December 12, 2008

Beautiful Eyes





Monday, December 1, 2008

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Technology

One day Bill complained to his friend, “My elbow really hurts, I guess I should see a doctor.” His friend offered, “Don’t do that. There’s a computer at the drug store that can diagnose anything quicker an cheaper than a doctor. Simply put in a sample of your urine and the computer will diagnose your problem and tell you what you can do about it. It only costs $10.”

Bill figured he had nothing to lose, so he filled a jar with a urine sample and went to the drug store. Finding the computer, he poured in the sample and deposited the $10. The computer started making some noise and various lights started flashing. After a brief pause out popped a small slip of paper on which was printed: You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water. Avoid heavy lifting. It will be better in two weeks.

Late that evening while thinking how amazing this new technology was and how it would change medical science forever, he began to wonder if this machine could be fooled. He decided to give it a try. He mixed together some tap water, a stool sample from his dog and urine samples from his wife and daughter. To top it off, he masturbated into the concoction.

He went back to the drug store, located the machine, poured in the sample and deposited the $10. The computer again made the usual noise and printed out the following message:

Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener. Your dog has worms. Get him vitamins. Your daughter is using cocaine. Put her in a rehabilitation clinic. Your wife is pregnant with twin girls. They aren’t yours. Get a lawyer. And if you don’t stop jerking off, your tennis elbow will never get better.

Son

Four Catholic ladies were having coffee.

The first Catholic woman tells her friends “My son is a priest. When he walks into a room, everyone calls him ‘Father.’”

The second Catholic woman chirps, “My son is a bishop. Whenever he walks into a room, people call him ‘Your Grace.’”

The third Catholic crone says “My son is a cardinal. Whenever he walks into a room, people say ‘Your Eminence.’”

Since the fourth Catholic woman sips her coffee in silence, the first three women give her this subtle “Well…?” Finally she replies, “My son is a gorgeous, 6′ 2, hard-bodied stripper, when he walks into a room women say, ‘Oh my God’.”

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Prayers

A lady approaches her priest and tells him “Father, I have a problem. I have two female talking parrots, but they only know how to say one thing.”

“What do they say?” the priest inquired.

“They only know how to say, ‘Hi, we’re prostitutes. Want to have some fun?’”

“That’s terrible!” the priest exclaimed, “but I have a solution to your problem. Bring your two female parrots over to my house and I will put them with my two male talking parrots whom I taught to pray and read the bible. My parrots will teach your parrots to stop saying that terrible phrase and your female parrots will learn the joys of praise and worship.”

“Thank you!” the woman responded.

The next day the woman brings her female parrots to the priest’s house. His two male parrots are holding the rosary beads and praying in their cage. The lady puts her two female parrots in with the male parrots and the female parrots say “Hi we’re prostitutes, want to have some fun?”

One male parrot looks over at the other male parrot and exclaims, “Put the beads away, brother. Our prayers have been answered!”

Saturday, October 4, 2008

UNOPENED CD's

There was once a guy who suffered from cancer... A cancer that can't be treated. He was 18 years old and he could die anytime. All his life, he was stuck in his house being taken cared by his mother. He never went outside but he was sick of staying home and wanted to go out for once.


So he asked his mother and she gave him permission. He walked down his block and found a lot of stores.


He passed a CD store and looked through the front door for a second as he walked. He stopped and went back to look into the store. He saw a young girl about his age and he knew it was love at first sight. He opened the door and walked in, not looking at anything else but her. He walked closer and closer until he was finally at the front desk where she sat.


She looked up and asked "Can I help you?" She smiled and he thought it was the most beautiful smile he has ever seen before and wanted to kiss her right there.


He said "Uh... Yeah... Umm... I would like to buy a CD." He picked one out and gave her money for it.


"Would you like me to wrap it for you?" she asked, smiling her cute smile again.


He nodded and she went to the back.


She came back with the wrapped CD and gave it to him. He took it and walked out of the store. He went home and from then on, he went to that store everyday and bought a CD, and she wrapped it for him. He took the CD home and put it in his closet. He was still too shy to ask her out and he really wanted to but he couldn't. His mother found out about this and told him to just ask her.


So the next day, he took all his courage and went to the store. He bought a CD like he did everyday and once again she went to the back of the store and came back with it wrapped. He took it and when she wasn't looking, he left his phone number on the desk and ran out...

------------------


!!!RRRRRING!!!


The mother picked up the phone and said, "Hello?"


It was the girl!!! She asked for the boy and the mother started to cry and said, "You don't know? He passed away yesterday..."


The line was quiet except for the cries of the boy's mother.


Later in the day. The mother went into the boy's room because she wanted to remember him. She thought she would start by looking at his clothes. So she opened the closet. She was face to face with piles and piles and piles of unopened CDs. She was surprised to find all those CDs and she picked one up and sat down on the bed and she started to open one.


Inside, there was a CD and as she took it out of the wrapper, out fell a piece of paper. The mother picked it up and started to read it.


It said: Hi... I think U R really cute. Do u wanna go out with me? Love, Jacelyn The mother opened another CD...


Again there was a piece of paper. It said: Hi... I think U R really cute. Do u wanna go out with me? Love, Jacelyn


Love is... When you've had a huge fight but then decide to put aside your egos, hold hands and say, "I Love You . . . "

------------------

Moral of The Story:

If you Really Love Someone please Expressed your feeling and let them know how much you Love them,That person might also love you in the same way as you love them Before it is too late................

What if u upgraded Girlfriend 5.0 to Wife 1.0

What if u upgraded Girlfriend 5.0 to Wife 1.0 : )

--------------------------------


Dear Tech Support Team:


Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 5.0 to Wife 1.0.


I soon noticed that the new program began unexpected child-processes that took up a lot of space and valuable resources.


In addition, Wife 1.0 installed itself into all other programs and now monitors all other system activities.


Applications such as BachelorNights 10.3, Cricket 5.0, BeerWithBuddies 7.5, and Outings 3.6 no longer runs, crashing the system whenever selected. I can't seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to run my favorite applications.


I'm thinking about going back to Girlfriend 5.0 , but the 'uninstall' doesn't work on Wife 1.0.


Please help!


Thanks,
"A Troubled User"



REPLY:



Dear Troubled User:


This is a very common problem that people complain about.


Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 5.0 to Wife 1.0, thinking that it is just a Utilities and Entertainment program.


Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and is designed by its Creator to run EVERYTHING!!!


It is also impossible to delete Wife 1.0 and to return to Girlfriend 5.0.


It is impossible to uninstall, or purge the program files from the system once installed.


You cannot go back to Girlfriend 5.0 because Wife 1.0 is designed not to allow this. (Look in your Wife 1.0 Manual under Warnings-Alimony-Child Support) .


I recommend that you keep Wife1.0 and work on improving the environment.


I suggest installing the background application "Yes Dear" to alleviate software augmentation.


The best course of action is to enter the command C:\APOLOGIZE because ultimately you will have to give the APOLOGIZE command before the system will return to normal anyway.


Wife 1.0 is a great program, but it tends to be very high maintenance. Wife 1.0 comes with several support programs, such as Clean 2.5, Sweep 3.0, Cook 1.5 and DoLaundry 4.2. However, be very careful how you use these programs. Improper use will cause the system to launch the program NagNag 9.5 .


Once this happens, the only way to improve the performance of Wife 1.0 is to purchase additional software. I recommend Sarees 2.1 and Jewellery 5.0


STATUTORY WARNING : DO NOT, under any circumstances, install SecretaryWithShortSkirt 3.3. This application is not supported by Wife 1.0 and will cause irreversible damage to the operating system.


Best of luck,
Tech Support ...

Friday, September 12, 2008

Black & White !

In life, a lesson learned in your past that you will never forget completely.When I was in elementary school, I got into a major argument with a boy in my class. I have forgotten what the argument was about, but I have never forgotten the lesson learned that day.


I was convinced that "I" was right and "he" was wrong - and he was just as convinced that "I" was wrong and "he" was right.



The teacher decided to teach us a very important lesson. She brought us up to the front of the class and placed him on one side of her desk and me on the other. In the middle of her desk was a large, round object. I could clearly see that it was black. She asked the boy what color the object was. "White," he answered.


I couldn't believe he said the object was white, when it was obviously black! Another argument started between my classmate and me, this time about the color of the object.


The teacher told me to go stand where the boy was standing and told him to come stand where I had been. We changed places, and now she asked me what the color of the object was. I had to answer, "White." It was an object with two differently colored sides, and from his viewpoint it was white. Only from my side was it black.



My teacher taught me a very important lesson learned that day: You must stand in the other person's shoes and look at the situation through their eyes in order to truly understand their perspective .


**************

Saturday, August 2, 2008

Fallen Star-----------Ishmeet Singh




Nineteen is a young age to attain celebrity status and definitely too young to die. But that reality of life came home to millions mourning the sudden death of reality singing contest “Voice of India” winner Ishmeet Singh. With so many reality shows on television, stars are made and unmade almost everyday. But Ishmeet was different. This singer from a modest background from Punjab’s industrial city of Ludhiana touched the hearts and minds of millions of music lovers not just by winning the “Voice of India” contest last November but living up to his image of a “gentle Sardar” till last Tuesday.

It took just one moment of excitement at the deep end of a swimming pool in faraway Maldives to drown not just the high hopes that Ishmeet had for himself but also of the music fraternity in Bollywood and millions of his admirers who wanted him to make it big as a crooner.

“We went to the pool at the Maldives resort together. He kept egging us to come into deeper water even though none of us knew swimming. He even mocked his drowning once and laughed it off. The second time, which we realized later that he was actually drowning, we didn’t take it seriously. We shouted for help but it was too late,” fellow performers Viyom and Arunima, who went with Ishmeet for the Maldives event, told Star News channel Thursday.

“This place (Maldives) is so beautiful. Mujhe toh koi yahan naukri dey de, main toh yahan hi reh jaunga (If someone gives me a job here, I will live here only),” Ishmeet told his companions Tuesday as they arrived in the Indian Ocean island country, just a couple of hours before he drowned.

The drum beats, ‘bhangra’ steps and bursting of crackers November last year in Ludhiana and all over Punjab were drowned when tens of thousands turned up once again for the singer - this time to say a final goodbye. His popularity could be seen from the stampede-like situation at the cremation ground and also the fact that a few TV news channels telecast his funeral live.

Prime Minister Manmohan Singh had called up his shattered family here to condole his death. Punjab Chief Minister Parkash Singh Badal not only got a special plane to bring his body from New Delhi but came to pay his last respects too.
Music world and television biggies - singers Abhijeet, Mika, Hans Raj Hans, Harbhajan Mann and Shreya Goshal and reality show producer Gajendra Singh - lined up like commoners at his cremation.

“It is hard to believe that the “Voice of India”, Ishmeet Singh, is no more. Like a shooting star, he’s come and gone … in a blink of the eye!” wrote columnist Jessi Kaur in Sikh diaspora website Sikhchic.com as she recounted her encounter with him at an international Sikh youth camp at Khandala near Pune.

“He promised that his first album would be of shabads, because he took his role as an icon for the Sikh youth seriously. Ishmeet, to me, was really special because his success had not gone to his head and, at heart, he remained the sweet, simple boy from Ludhiana with the love of Sikhi swelling in his heart.”

“He saw himself as blazing a trail for his young Sikh brothers and sisters who he hoped would follow their dreams, achieving great successes while proudly displaying the Khalsa form and spirit. He felt that he had been given a great responsibility: to inspire and to coax the best out of the Sikh youth,” she wrote.
Though the family of Ishmeet and singer Abhijeet want a probe into his death by drowning, doctors here, who conducted his postmortem examination, said that preliminary investigations revealed that he died of asphyxiation from drowning.

Ishmeet, who had left his college studies (he was a second-year student in a college here) last year much against the wishes of his family to enter the “Voice of India” contest and finally for a career in singing, was elevated to his celebrity status by the entertainment industry. Perhaps, it was the same industry that took his life away too!

Saturday, July 5, 2008

ARE WOMEN DUMB OR CLEVER.....?

A Woman was out golfing one day when she hit the ball into the woods.
.
. She went into the woods to look for it and found a frog in a trap.
.
. The frog said to her, "If you release me from this trap, I will grant

. you
.
. three wishes."
.
.
.
. The woman freed the frog, and the frog said, "Thank you,but I failed

. to mention that there was a condition to your wishes.
.
. Whatever you wish for, your husband will get times ten!"
.
.
.
. The woman said, "That's okay." For her first wish, she wanted to be
.
. the most beautiful woman in the world.
.
.
.
. The frog warned her, "You do realize that this wish will also make
.
. Your husband the most handsome man in the world, an Adonis whom women

. will
.
. flock to. "
.
.
.
. The woman replied, "That's okay, because I will be the most beautiful
.
. Woman and he will have eyes only for me." So, -she's the most

. beautiful woman in the world!
.
. For her second wish, she wanted to be the richest woman in the world.
.
. The frog said, "That will make your husband the richest man in the
.
. world and he will be ten times richer than you." The woman said,

. "That's okay, because what's mine is his and what's his is mine."
.
.
.
. So, -she's the richest woman in the world!
.
. The frog then inquired about her third wish, and she answered, "I'd
.
. like a mild heart attack."
.
.
.
. Moral of the story: Women are clever. Don't mess with them..
.
.
.
. Attention female readers: This is the end of the joke for you. Stop
.
. here and continue feeling good.
.
. . Male readers: Please scroll down.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
. The man had a heart attack ten times milder than his wife!!!
.
.
.
. Moral of the story: Women are really dumb but think they're really
.
. smart. Let them continue to think that way and just enjoy the show
.
.
.
. PS: If you are a woman and are still reading this; it only goes to
.
. show that women never listen!

BRILLIANT DOUBTS.

01.If all the nations in the world are in debt(i am not joking. Even US has got debts), where did all the money go? (weird).

02.When dog food is new with improved tasting, who tests it? (to be given a thought).

03.What is the speed of darkness? (absurd).

04.If the "black box" flight recorder is never damaged during a plane crash, why isn't the whole airplane made out of that stuff? (very good thinking).

05.Who copyrighted the copyright symbol? (who knows).

06.Can you cry under water? (let me try).

07.Why do people say, "you've been working like a dog" when dogs just sit around all day? (I think they meant something else).

08.Why are the numbers on a calculator and a phone reversed? (God knows.)

09.Do fish ever get thirsty? (let me ask and tell).

10.Can you get cornered in a round room? (by ones eyes).

11.What does OK actually mean?.

12.Why do birds not fall out of trees when they sleep? (tonight I will stay and watch).

13.What came first, the fruit or the color orange? (seed).

14.What should one call a male ladybird? (No comments).

15.If a person suffered from amnesia and then was cured would they remember that they forgot? (can somebody help).

16.Can you blow a balloon up under water? (yes you can).

17.Why is it called a "building" when it is already built? (strange isn't it).

18.If you were traveling at the speed of sound and you turned on your radio would you be able to hear it? (got to think scientifically).

19.If you're traveling at the speed of light and you turn your headlights on, what happens? (I didn't had a chance to try).

20.Why is it called a TV set when theres only one? (very nice).

21.If a person owns a piece of land do they own it all the way down to the core of the earth? (this is nice?).

22.Why do most cars have speedometers that go up to at least 130 when you legally can't go that fast on any road? (stupid, break the law).

Olny srmat poelpe can raed tihs!

cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae.



The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm.



Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh? yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt! if you can raed tihs psas it on !!

DO YOU HAVE FOUR WIVES ?

There was a rich merchant who had 4 wives. He loved the 4th wife the most and adorned her with rich robes and treated her to delicacies. He took great care of her and gave her nothing but the best.


He also loved the 3rd wife very much. He's very proud of her and always wanted to show off her to his friends. However, the merchant is always in great fear that she might run away with some other men.





He too, loved his 2nd wife. She is a very considerate person, always patient and in fact is the merchant's confidante. Whenever the merchant faced some problems, he always turned to his 2nd wife and she would always help him out and tide him through difficult times.


Now, the merchant's 1st wife is a very loyal partner and has made great contributions in maintaining his wealth and business as well as taking care of the household. However, the merchant did not love the first wife and although she loved him deeply, he hardly took notice of her.


One day, the merchant fell ill. Before long, he knew that he was going to die soon. He thought of his luxurious life and told himself, "Now I have 4 wives with me. But when I die, I'll be alone. How lonely I'll be!"


Thus, he asked the 4th wife, "I loved you most, endowed you with the finest clothing and showered great care over you. Now that I'm dying, will you follow me and keep me company?" "No way!" replied the 4th wife and she walked away without another word.


The answer cut like a sharp knife right into the merchant's heart. The sad merchant then asked the 3rd wife, "I have loved you so much for all my life. Now that I'm dying, will you follow me and keep me company?" "No!" replied the 3rd wife. "Life is so good over here! I'm going to remarry when you die!" The merchant's heart sank and turned cold.


He then asked the 2nd wife, "I always turned to you for help and you've always helped me out. Now I need your help again. When I die, will you follow me and keep me company?" "I'm sorry, I can't help you out this time!" replied the 2nd wife. "At the very most, I can only send you to your grave." The answer came like a bolt of thunder and the merchant was devastated.


Then a voice called out : "I'll leave with you. I'll follow you no matter where you go." The merchant looked up and there was his first wife. She was so skinny, almost like she suffered from malnutrition. Greatly grieved, the merchant said, "I should have taken much better care of you while I could have !"


Moral :


Actually, we all have 4 wives in our lives


a. The 4th wife is our body. No matter how much time and effort we lavish in making it look good, it'll leave us when we die.


b. Our 3rd wife ? Our possessions, status and wealth. When we die, they all go to others.


c. The 2nd wife is our family and friends. No matter how close they had been there for us when we're alive, the furthest they can stay by us is up to the grave.


d. The 1st wife is in fact our soul, often neglected in our pursuit of material, wealth and sensual pleasure.


Guess what? It is actually the only thing that follows us wherever we go. Perhaps it's a good idea to cultivate and strengthen it now rather than to wait until we're on our deathbed to lament

Thursday, July 3, 2008

Riddle....to solve.

75% of grade one students solved this riddle, but only 5% of a Stanford graduate class figured it out! Can you answer the following riddle?

1. The word has seven letters
2. Preceded God.
3. Greater than God.
4. More Evil than the devil
5. All poor people have it
6. Wealthy people need it.
7. If you eat it, you will die!

Did you figure it out yet?

Try hard before looking at the answers

Got it yet?

Ready to give up?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?


The Answer is: NOTHING!

NOTHING has 7 letters.

NOTHING preceded God.

NOTHING is greater than God.

NOTHING is more Evil than the devil.

All poor people have NOTHING.

Wealthy people need NOTHING.

If you eat NOTHING, you will die.

Friday, June 27, 2008

Visit My Blog !

The new “naut”

Cosmonaut, Astronaut and now the new Cybernaut!


Thursday, June 19, 2008

Woman who lived inside an iron lung for 60 years killed because of a power cut.

A woman who defied medical odds and spent her life living in an iron lung died after a power cut shut down the machine helping her breathe.Dianne Odell, 61, had been confined to the 7ft-long metal tube since contracting polio when she was three.
Her home near Memphis, Tennessee, suffered a lengthy power failure and relatives were unable to start a back-up generator?



Brother-in law Will Beyer said: ''We did everything we could do but we couldn't keep her breathing. ''Dianne had got a lot weaker over the past several months and she just didn't have the strength to keep going.''




Ms Odell was diagnosed with "bulbo-spinal" polio several years before a vaccine was discovered that stopped the spread of the crippling disease affecting children.Despite being confined inside the iron lung, she managed to get a high school diploma, take courses at a college and write a book. Iron lungs - or negative pressure ventilators - were first used in the 1920s. They work by producing pressure on the lungs that causes them to expand and contract so that patients can breathe. Odell's iron lung, similar to those used during the US polio epidemics that peaked in the 1950s, was a cylindrical chamber with a seal at the neck. She lay on her back with only her head exposed and made eye contact with visitors through an angled mirror. Odell, who was cared for by her parents and other family members, operated a television set with a small blow tube and wrote on a voice-activated computer. Authorities said the electrical failure had been caused by a tree falling on a power line.

Wednesday, June 18, 2008

Work virus...

Virus warning

There is a dangerous virus being passed around electronically, orally, and by hand. This virus is called Worm-Overload-Recreational-Killer (WORK). If you receive WORK from any of your colleagues, your boss, or anyone else via any means DO NOT TOUCH IT. This virus will wipe out your private life completely.

If you should come into contact with WORK, put your jacket on and take two good friends to the nearest grocery store. Purchase the antidote known as Work-Isolating-Neutralizer-Extract (WINE) or Bothersome-Employer-Elimination-Rebooter (BEER). Take the antidote repeatedly until WORK has been completely eliminated from your system.

You should forward this warning to five friends. If you do not have five friends, you have already been infected and WORK is controlling your life.

Cool optical illusion!

Wow! A very cool optical illusion! Just don’t be near your computer scree to see the face…


Face transplant

Hillary or Obama?

Tuesday, June 17, 2008

2 suicides.

2 suicides. 2 very different ways to do it though…



Engagement Ring

This engagement ring ad is very funny. And so true…



Friday, June 13, 2008

How to ask your boss for a salary increase ...?

One day an employee sends a letter to his boss asking for an increase in his salary!!!


Dear Bo$$

In thi$ life, we all need $ome thing mo$t de$perately.

I think you $hould be under$tanding of the need$ of u$ worker$ who have given $o much $upport including $weat and $ervice to your company
I am $ure you will gue$$ what I mean and re$pond $oon

Your$ $incerely

Norman $oh

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The next day, the employee received this letter of reply


Dear NOrman

I kNOw you have been working very hard. NOwadays, NOthing much has changed. You must have NOticed that our company is NOt doing NOticeably well as yet

NOw the newspaper are saying the world`s leading ecoNOmists are NOt sure if the United States may go into aNOther recession. After the NOvember presidential elections things may turn bad

I have NOthing more to add NOw. You kNOw what I mean

Yours truly

Manager

************

The Ultimate Facts

Men:


1. All men are extremely busy.


2. Although they are so busy, they still have time for women.


3. Although they have time for women, they don't really care for them.


4. Although they don't really care for them, they always have one around.


5. Although they always have one around them, they always try their luck with others.


6. Although they try their luck with others, they get really pissed off if the woman leaves them.


7. Although the woman leaves them they still don't learn from their mistakes and still try their luck with others.



Women:


1. The most important thing for a woman is financial security.


2. Although this is so important, they still go out and buy expensive clothes and stuff.


3. Although they always buy expensive clothes, they never have something to wear.


4. Although they never have something to wear, they always dress beautifully.


5. Although they always dress beautifully, their clothes are always just "an old rag".


6. Although their clothes are always "just an old rag", they still expect you to compliment them.


7. Although they expect you to compliment them, when you do, they don't believe you.


************

God doesn't exist.

A man went to a barbershop to have his hair cut and his beard trimmed.

As the barber began to work, they began to have a good conversation.

They talked about so many things and various subjects. When they eventually touched on the subject of God, the barber said: "I don't believe that God exists."

"Why do you say that?"asked the customer.

"Well, you just have to go out in the street to realize that God doesn't exist.
Tell me, if God exists,would there be so many sick people? Would there be abandoned children? If God existed, there would be neither suffering nor pain. I can't imagine loving a God who would allow all of these things."

The customer thought for a moment, but didn't respond because he didn't want to start an argument.

The barber finished his job and the customer left the shop. Just after he left the barbershop, he saw a man in the street with long, stringy, dirty hair and an untrimmed beard. He looked dirty and un-kept.

The customer turned back and entered the barber shop again and he said to the barber: "You know what? Barbers do not exist."

"How can you say that?"asked the surprised barber. "I am here, and I am a barber.And I just worked on you!"

"No!" the customer exclaimed. "Barbers don't exist because if they did, there would be no people with dirty long hair and untrimmed beards, like that man outside."

"Ah, but barbers DO exist! What happens is, people do not come to me."

"Exactly!"- affirmed the customer. "That's the point! God, too, DOES exist! What happens, is, people don't go to Him and do not look for Him. That's why there's so much pain and suffering in the world."

Never Lie To Your MOM

A Mom comes to visit her son Kumar for dinner.....who lives with a girl roommate Sunita. During the course of the meal, his mother couldn't help but notice how pretty Kumar's roommate was. She had long been suspicious of a relationship between the two, and this had only made her more curious.

Over the course of the evening, while watching the two interact, she started to wonder if there was more between Kumar and his roommate than met the eye.


Reading his mom's thoughts, Kumar volunteered, "I know what you must be thinking, but I assure you, Sunita and I are just roommates." About a week later, Sunita came! to Kumar saying, "Ever since your mother came to dinner, I've been unable to find the silver plate. You don't suppose she took it, do you?" Kumar said ,"Well, I doubt it, but I'll email her, jjust to be sure."

So he sat down and wrote :

Dear Mother:

I'm not saying that you 'did' take the silver plate from my house, I'm not saying that you 'did not' take the silver plate .. But the fact remains that it has been missing ever since you were here for dinner.

Love, Kumar

Several days later, Kumar received an email from his Mother which read

Dear Son:

I'm not saying that you 'do' sleep with Sunita, and I'm not saying that you 'do not' sleep with Sunita. But the fact remains that if she was sleeping in her OWN bed, she would have found the silver plate by now under the pillow...

Love,

Mom.

Lesson of the day:

Don't Lie to Your Mother...........especially if she is Indian !

Thursday, February 14, 2008

WORLD'S SMALLEST BODYBUILDER

At 2'9" and a mere one and a half stone, Aditya "Romeo" Dev is the world's smallest bodybuilder.



Using custom-built 1.5kg dumbbells, Romeo, 19, pumps iron daily to prove that small is beautiful.

While most dwarfs have large heads compared to their bodies, Romeo is perfectly proportioned, and despite his diminutive stature has triceps, biceps, calves and thighs that would make many a full-grown man blush.

He was recognised by the Guinness Book of Records in 2006 following three months of intense exercise.

Large crowds regularly flock to watch him at his gym in Punjab, where as well as weight-training and push-ups Romeo is training to be a dancer.




Ranjeet Pal, Romeo's trainer and a friend of his family who runs a gym in his home town of Phagwara, says that Romeo has never let his size get in his way. "Romeo trains more or less the same as anyone else and he's much more determined," he said.

"When he first started I insisted he did a month of basic exercises like aerobics, push-ups and basic gymnastics to prepare his body.

"After that I specially made lightweight dumbbells and taught him basic weight-lifting exercises to shape his biceps and triceps. His size and his weight were taken care of so that he never hurt himself."



Romeo is famous in his home country, and his father has spoken of his pride in his son's determination to overcome any difficulties in his path. "He has never been bothered at being so small. He has no inferiority complex. He is the jewel of our family."

Having made his way in to the record books, Romeo says that he wants to dance on stage. "My dream is to travel a lot – I want to perform in London with my idol, Jazzy-B,"

Monday, February 11, 2008

IT HAPPENS ONLY IN......?









Saturday, February 9, 2008

BIG FAMILY



For all those who wondered what was special about this foto, here it is:

This is a digitally altered image which shows the same person in different forms..
and u thought all chinese looked alike!!

NECK RINGING/STRETCHING REFUGEES







In a few African and Asian cultures multiple neck rings are worn usually to stretch the neck. The Kayan people from the country of Myanmar and Thailand begin to wear neck rings when they are children. Gradually with age the number of "brass coils" worn increases to elongate the neck.The custom of wearing neck rings is related to an ideal of beauty: an elongated neck. Neck rings push the collarbone and ribs down and stretch the neck muscles several inches. The stretching of the muscles takes several years to occur. The neck stretching is mostly illusory; the weight of the rings twists the collar bone and eventually the upper ribs to create the illusion of an elongated neck.

The Padaung tribe of Burma considered a long neck beautiful. About age 5, girls were introduced to the first neck ring. As they grew, rings were added. Their shoulders were pushed down, making the neck look longer. Also, this showed off the family's valuable metal rings, indicating wealth.A fully stretched neck was between 10-15" long! A woman could not drink from a cup, because tipping her head back would overbalance her and she would fall! She could only drink from a straw. And forget looking at the sky! If a woman offended her tribe, her rings were cut off and she would choke to death, unless someone held her head up!

AN ANIMATED X-RAY VIEW OF THE NECK STRETCH PROCESS IS SHOWN BELOW


CLICK HERE TO VIEW

BIGGEST OF THEIR KIND









Friday, February 8, 2008

RUMOURS OVER MARRAIGE OF CHOTTE NAWAB



Not possible. Saif was shooting for a television music reality show with Katrina. So how can the Chote Nawab be in two places at the same time? And it's sure Kareena would not marry him and then send him to spend time with Katrina Kaif.

That’s exactly the question on everyone’s mind today. Saif and Kareena’s relationship has become the hottest topic around tinsel town. And now the latest buzz doing the rounds is that Saif and Kareena have got married in a hush hush ceremony at the chhote nawab‘s place.

It was learnt that a quite nikah ceremony took place at around 12.30 midnight. And Saif also gifted his lady love a brand new BMW.

But the pictures have a different story to tell. Saif was not spending time with lady love Kareena but another pretty lady Katrina Kaif. Well before everyone set off any speculations and meet the wrath of Salman Khan, Saif was just promoting his film Race along with co-star Katrina Kaif on a television music reality show Sa Re Ga Ma Pa on Zee TV. The event also saw other stars of the film like Sameera Reddy, and Ashaye Khanna.

Another rumour bites the dust.. wonder how many more times will their marriage be speculated upon ?

SOME OF THE RAREST ITEMS IN THE WORLD

RAREST GEMS




The world's rarest gems is beleived to be Painite, a gem that most of never heard of. The Painite is oragish and reddish brown in colour and was first discovered in Burma's in the 50's. Within the last couple of years, the source of two original Painite crystals was discovered and now a few hundred faceted stones exists. A more well-known gem is the Red-Diamond










RAREST SIGNATURES



He has done a lot of writing, but only 6 of them in existence, William Shakespeare's signature is one of the rarest of all and is valued somewhere around $3 millon dollars.













RAREST JEANS



According to the Guinness book of world record's the valuable jeans are an original pair of Levi Strauss and co. 501 jeans, aged over 115 years old, which were sold to a collector in japan for $60,000 through ebay in 2005. Quite rare indeed considering a new pair of jeans sells for $46.











RAREST COINS



As a general rule, the more rare the coin is the more it's worth, so what's the rarest coin ever ? It's a debatable subject as not all experts always agree, but if the Double Eagle isn't at the top of that list it's sure near it. Back in 2002 the only Double Eagle coin left in private hand sold for $7.9 million dollars.

World Clock